Any Easier?

Does life get any easier? Please tell me it does. At times it seems way too hard, but when I look at other peoples lives they look so great. How do they hide it, or are they really that damn happy and secure? I love my family, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, but something has gotta give.

Any hints out there on how to make my family happier? How to get my husband off the couch and back in the bed? Get my youngest to quit peeing in the bed at night, my middle to quit hiding food and fibbing and to get my oldest to understand that me not Being able to buy her anything extra is not because I don't love her, it's because funds are extremely low.... Argh.... I know there are other people and families that are going through harder times, and I pray for them everyday, but the emotional factor in my family is what needs to be worked on.....

How do you talk to an un-emotional husband that hates talking? Help.....

Angela

A day in the life....

Well today I applied to re-enroll at The Art Institute to finish my degree (2009). I hope that it goes through ok, I messed up by not keeping in contact with AIO. Just cross your fingers!

This summer has been crazy. We haven't done anything, but it sems like really psychotic! I'm tired, but I love spending time with my girls.

I also started crochetting. I have taught myself, and I think I am doing rather good, learning on my own. I will post pictures later!

Well Im off to "site" see....

Angela

Almost Fed Up...

Do you ever just get tired of who you are? Not suicidal, just tired. I'm there. I feel like shit. My weight is way too much, I'm tired mentally, physically and emotionally. I am usually able to pull myself out of these ruts, but I am stuck this time. Everyone seems to think I have talent; I don't think that yet, I think I have the potential to have talent. Everyone seems to think If I start airbrushing that all my problems will be solved. Well, if I could do it I would. I know I have the creativity, but the paints and accessories are outrageous. I don't have the funding to even buy how-to books to help me. It just never ends, don't it....lol... Ah well..

On a good note, my husbands sister and her husband came all the way from California too meet and see us. We had a great time and I was really sad too see them go, it was so nice to have adults to talk too and sit outside with me....lol They left for home this morning and I have been trying to recoup ever since...

Till next time,
Angela

Dean Koontz

I don't know about you people out there, but I love to read! I bought "The Taking" by Dean Koontz about a year ago, and hadn't read it yet. Well Yesterday it was as rainy as it has been for 4 days; so my hands hurting too bad to play on the PC I thought I would read a little of the book I so desperately wanted and had yet to pick up. Well I am so glad I did. That book was fantastic. His descriptions and wording absolutely meshed well. I actually smelled the smells, felt the feelings and saw what they saw. It was unbelievable. Now I have to get more Dean Koontz. I have read a lot of his, but they were on borrowed time from the library and I want my own copies. Sooo, if you feel sorry for me go to amazon and search for my name Angela C. Yaws and you can see my Dean Koontz list! HAHA......

Well, my hands still hurt, so I will go for now. Go read some Koontz! You won't be disappointed!

Angela

Woomp....

http://feeds.rhapsody.com/playlist.rss?playlistId=ply.8594287

Whew!

Well, today went alot better than I expected. The girls and I, cleaned the pool and got the water changed and filled back up. Now all we are waiting on is for Dad to fix the filter. The girls love the water so much. I'm glad they arent afraid to get in. Kaylee my youngest gets a tad squemish if she dosen't ahve her Barbie Life Jacket on...lol

Tomorrow we go to the neighbors house and get to eat some kind of beer chicken off the grill. Sounds fun, but I don't want to stay all day...lol.. Not that I don't like him, I just like hanging out at the house on Sunday's.

Angela

Daddy...

It's hard to believe that today marks 5 years since daddy's suicide. I have been doing ok for the past 2 years, fighting it, trying not to feel. Well tonight for some reason, I felt. It hurt and I didn't like it. As the almost full moon was shining bright and the field behind the house was glittered with lightning bugs, I sat and cried. Hard. I miss his hugs terribly. I miss him telling me I'm the prettiest girl in the world on my worst days. I miss him listening to me whole heartedly. I miss his goofy giggle. I miss his excitement when he was proud of me. I miss my daddy, severly.

I don't understand suicide, because I have never thought it, or felt it. So I will never be ok with the road he chose. I hope that he is ok, and I hope that all his sickness and worries are over. I miss my "Daddy's Girl" title... I miss............

Angela